Such wise words Abby, and I commend you on your approach to parenting. I always applied this ‘hands off’ where ever possible and my kids grew up to be resilient and confident individuals. It took me a while to stop blaming myself for Dom’s suicide…I was casting around for reasons and worried I’d ‘left him to it’ too much. But my other 2 children have helped me see that they feel they really benefitted from me not ‘helicoptering’ around them…
Anyway, back to your article! It reminded me of the conclusion a recent radio programme came to. It was about children being picked up by strangers in the street. The reality is that the people doing this are actively preying on the less confident, less streetwise kids. The ones that get overprotected basically. Go figure 😳
As someone who's struggled with suicidal ideation, I can only speak from my own experience... but when I’ve stood toe-to-toe with that void, it’s felt like a crisis of the existential mind. I believe suicide is one of many symptoms of a disease of meaning. The desperation... for relief, for escape... is so overwhelmingly strong, and the world around us often doesn’t live at the same depth. There’s a kind of permanent loneliness in that.
I believed that the purpose I've felt with motherhood might eliminate these thoughts. Maybe anchor me in meaning, and while it's brought grounding and beauty, it hasn’t been a cure. That’s made me feel weak at times, but I know that’s not the truth. I can’t speak for Dom, but I wonder if there’s some intersection there... some overlap in that search for meaning.
As to the streetwise, that honestly makes sense. I've witnessed my kids assert themselves to other adults because they trust their voice, and they trust that I have trust in it. It matters a great deal when it comes to their security.
Thank you for your considered response too in relation to Dom. It’s obviously always on my mind…the ‘why’ he felt as he did. I agree that it can run very deep, this search for a meaning. He was a ‘creative’ and unfortunately I think these personality types can often succumb to depression. Your reference to a ‘permanent loneliness’ very much resonates with how I saw him look when he was in a downward spiral.
I look forward to reading more of your posts Abby, you write really well.
Such wise words Abby, and I commend you on your approach to parenting. I always applied this ‘hands off’ where ever possible and my kids grew up to be resilient and confident individuals. It took me a while to stop blaming myself for Dom’s suicide…I was casting around for reasons and worried I’d ‘left him to it’ too much. But my other 2 children have helped me see that they feel they really benefitted from me not ‘helicoptering’ around them…
Anyway, back to your article! It reminded me of the conclusion a recent radio programme came to. It was about children being picked up by strangers in the street. The reality is that the people doing this are actively preying on the less confident, less streetwise kids. The ones that get overprotected basically. Go figure 😳
As someone who's struggled with suicidal ideation, I can only speak from my own experience... but when I’ve stood toe-to-toe with that void, it’s felt like a crisis of the existential mind. I believe suicide is one of many symptoms of a disease of meaning. The desperation... for relief, for escape... is so overwhelmingly strong, and the world around us often doesn’t live at the same depth. There’s a kind of permanent loneliness in that.
I believed that the purpose I've felt with motherhood might eliminate these thoughts. Maybe anchor me in meaning, and while it's brought grounding and beauty, it hasn’t been a cure. That’s made me feel weak at times, but I know that’s not the truth. I can’t speak for Dom, but I wonder if there’s some intersection there... some overlap in that search for meaning.
As to the streetwise, that honestly makes sense. I've witnessed my kids assert themselves to other adults because they trust their voice, and they trust that I have trust in it. It matters a great deal when it comes to their security.
Yep, sounds like great mothering to me Abby 💪
Thank you for your considered response too in relation to Dom. It’s obviously always on my mind…the ‘why’ he felt as he did. I agree that it can run very deep, this search for a meaning. He was a ‘creative’ and unfortunately I think these personality types can often succumb to depression. Your reference to a ‘permanent loneliness’ very much resonates with how I saw him look when he was in a downward spiral.
I look forward to reading more of your posts Abby, you write really well.